Busyness of My Small World
Been awake until 1 AM. Blame it on the coffee. Well, blame it on me. It's not the coffee's fault and I know that. It doesn't have a mind of it's own—but the person who craves for it. Yeah, that's me. Makes me ask a question if I am already a "certified coffee addict." I denied this thousands of times. Perhaps, I really am a coffee addict now. Most nights, I just thirst that bitter taste of hot coffee on my tongue. Then, I find myself holding a mug, sipping to quench my desire to savor one of my most preferred flavors in my world. Truly pleasurable.
Falling asleep so late is obviously the disadvantage of drinking coffee late at night. At the same time, there is also the advantage part. It gave me the time I needed to reflect how my day went by. Last night I was thinking of how 15 hours a day is not enough to do the things I wanted to accomplish for the day. There was this feeling of getting buried in the busyness of doing petty things around the house, taking care of the baby, do online stuffs, and to realize at the end of the day that what I accomplished is so little.
My small, domestic world feels crazy sometimes. But I better be doing things than get bored of doing nothing. However, I need to take a break from time to time. Most of the time, I get too focused on doing something until I get overwhelmed mentally, emotionally and physically.
Sometimes, I need to just simply lie on the couch and wrap my arms around my daughter while we watch her favorite educational DVDs. Sometimes, I just need to take a few minutes in our backyard, breathe fresh air, listen to the chirps of birds and hustles of leaves on each tree, enjoy the sight of my daughter's joy as she absorbs herself in her own innocent world. Or sometimes, maybe what I need is a good read.
My world may be small, but it keeps me busy. The only problem is that, sometimes my busyness makes me feel like I haven't done anything at the end of the day. Realizing this truth, I need to be more sensitive when this kind of feeling hits me. I need to remind myself that it's time to slow down; time to relax, time to enjoy the simplest things that surround me. Sometimes, maybe, even doing nothing is a good self-reward.
